a. beautiful. kind. of. hurt.

I had a dream about Mason from Vampire Diaries last night. Bizarre. We were hanging out on the roof of some mall-type building, sprawled on blankets and snoozing beneath the covers. It was a very warm and squishy dream (I mean that in a purely platonic, non-dirty way), and I woke up about 6.30am with a craving for lemonade. Huh.

Speaking of ( Vampire Dairies )

Is it bad that I’ve stopped caring about Supernatural? I mean, if this is really the last season, I’ll watch it, just because I started the journey and I’ll finish it, you know? But I don’t actually care. The only thing I actually really liked about this week’s episode was Sam finally admitting that he’s not actually Sam and he doesn’t actually care. Like, I know they could go pretty dark with that, and knowing this show they will. But they can also make it kinda funny. Like Sam teasing the skinwalker. It has it’s merits, and it also means that the Sam we know, the Sam that’s done a lot of growing up in the past five-or-so years, isn’t actually gone for real.

But right now, show, you are boring.

I’m re-watching Battlestar Galactica again. Just because.

( I've been on a Jake Gyllenhaal movie marathon this past couple of weeks. )

A few months ago I decided that since I was turning 25 this year, it really was about time I learned how to drive. I never felt it was necessary when I was at uni. The city I lived in, being a student city, had enough buses and trains running for me to get around pretty easily.

Now I’m finding I’m getting itchy for my own set of wheels. Which I have. Yeah, I’m only half way through my driving lessons (they’re going well, thanks for asking) but I have a car! An Inbetweeners car (apparently). It was officially christened Tez on Saturday (short for Terry, as in Terry’s Chocolate Orange, because though the colour is more of a yellow-gold, my car looks like it’s been Tango’d in the dark). When it pisses me off, which I’m sure it will, it will be called Terence.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to watch Vampire Diaries when it starts. The trailer killed me dead and now I think I may cry if I watched one episode.

You know, I've never read Twilight, mostly because I have no inclination to. I've heard all the talk, good and bad, but I've never cared enough to throw in my two cents. But lately I'm starting to really resent its existence. My Facebook is full of friends creaming their knickers over Edward Cullen because he's so incredibly hot and romantic, didn't you know? I think I've learned in the past few months that for lot of my friends attractive = automatically romantic. As long as he's hot, y'all.

Don't get me wrong. I don't bedgrudge them for enjoying the books. Different strokes for different folks. But it's when Hollywood uses these goddamn girls like tools that it pisses me off. Because they're feeding the problem. It's like, lets take this really scary, fucked-up story about death and dependency and obsession, and lets make it sparkly, literally. And no matter how the story changes or how messed up it gets, we'll just keep on making it pretty and plastic so they don't realise how sick and terrifying the whole entire thing actually is.

And yeah, it's hard to say that on the one hand, and then call myself an L.J. Smith fan on the other. Because Smith's work is plastic to a certain extent. It's YA and that calls for some kind of sugarcoating. But I wasn't even expecting anything as hardcore as True Blood or even Buffy when I first heard about Vampire Diaries coming to the small-screen. As long as the characters were likeable and loveable (because that's what Smith is best at, making me love her characters), I figured I could handle the cheesy-ass dialogue and bad storylines.

And then they totally messed with the characters. Not even a little bit. Not even subtlely. The fact that I didn't even recognise Bonnie in the trailer until someone pointed her out to me says a lot about the casting of this show. Bonnie is hard to miss. She's sassy and weird and worryingly-fascinated with dying young. The only way I was able to distinguish Elena from the rest of the brunette (again, eh?) brigade was because the trailer focused on her so intensely, as if to say, THIS IS YOUR HEROINE. YOU WILL LIKE HER.

I don't like the actor playing Stefan. I've seen him in two different shows in the past, a few scattered episodes here-and-there, and he's a one-note actor. And he's not even pretty.

Ian Somerhalder I adore. I do. It's his elf cheeks. But playing Damon? Can he do this? Can he really, really do this? Kudos on him if he can. But Damon's one of my favourite Smith characters and I want him done right.

The Salvatore Brothers are not the Cullen Brothers. They are not sparkly and they are not sixteen. I understand that the target audience is young (impressionable) girls who are just watching for the pretty, but this show is breaking my heart already because they clearly don't care about the female characters.

Can I watch it? Can I really, really watch it?